THE BEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!! THE BEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!! HERE WE GO… The diary entry you have all been waiting for!!
Yesterday, I had the BEST. DAY. OF MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE!!! I’m not even exaggerating when I say this. My experience surpassed anything I was hoping for or expecting!! UGH I’m just the happiest girl in the whole wide world right now!! I would have spoken about this sooner, but I was BEAT and crashed the second I got home… That and I spent all day today preparing for my road trip to go see my grandma a few states over. My sister and I leave for that tomorrow.
Anyways, let the fun begin… Warning for more sloppiness as this is going to be a wild ride, very emotional, and probably hardly proof-read since it’s late at night (again) and I’m going to pass out at any given second. I’m just way too tired and overwhelmed to do tons of corrections, etc. rn.
As mentioned previously, I woke up hours in advance. Even though I didn’t sleep at all the previous night (stress, anxiety, anticipation, heatless curling rods digging into my skull), I wasted no time getting ready.
The morning was honestly off to a really ugly start. I was super scared that my sister wouldn’t wake up and be ready to leave on time since she is a massive sleepyhead. I yelled at her and pounded on her doors multiple times. Thankfully, she did get up on time, but we ended up leaving the house about ten minutes late. I was so scared that I had my first violent (self-harming) meltdown in a very, very long time. I eventually calmed down after I called my dad.
The drive up there was pretty standard. I just blasted my favorite music in my headphones and looked out the windows while I sipped on my sugar-free latte from Starbucks.
I’m not going to waste anybody’s time with boring, extraneous details that nobody cares about so I’ll try to keep this part pretty brief. We arrived at the convention where a large-ish line had already started forming. Initially, this TERRIFIED me. I thought that there was no way on Earth that I would reach Matt on time. A very nice man in front of me calmed me down and told me I had nothing to worry about. He was right. I was like three hours early. As time passed us by, the line behind me tripled in size. I was practically in front! I also made friends with a really nice Velma cosplayer!! We just spoke about random Matthew Lillard-related stuff and some other crap! She was great!
Several hours passed by and the convention finally opened! The nice man in front of me led my party (sister and her friend) and I to Matt’s line! I MADE IT!! My heart raced!! I was so close to the front already, too. Not EXACTLY at the front, but close-ish. Kind of.
I did notice the separate area for disabled people. I didn’t hear Matt call us up, so I consulted an employee about it. He was very kind; he led me straight there. I offered to show the employee my autism diagnosis papers since I brought them in a folder just in case they wanted proof. He believed me and told me he didn’t need to see them.
As I got closer and closer to Matt, I was honestly so nervous!! My heart was pounding in my chest as I watched him. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. It was like, in this moment, Matthew Lillard was no longer a figment of my imagination or an idea. He was real. He was right there in front of me. A human being. Of course I have always literally known that he is a human being, but just seeing him in real life for the first time felt so surreal to me. It’s a feeling I could never, ever forget. I even snuck a little picture from my spot (zoomed in a ways to protect identities and because there were some kids in front of me).
Moments passed by and before I knew it, I was next. Even as I rewrite this, I’m remembering how insane this felt. I turned around to my sister and whispered “I’m gonna piss myself!!!” and “Oh my gosh I’m so scared!!!!!”
And at last, it was my turn.
I stepped forth. Finally, my time to shine. In front of me, he stood. Something about his gaze felt so accidentally intense, but at the same time super friendly. I just could hardly fucking believe myself. I WAS A MESS!!!
I started off with a simple “hi” and “Oh my God. I have so much I want to tell you”.
In response, he gave a light nod and said “Go ahead and tell me”.
I started off by telling that I really love William Afton. I didn’t really mention William again after this since I had way more interesting things I wanted to squeeze in for him. I then went on to tell him that I loved his movie, Fat Kid Rules The World (that obscure movie I mentioned in the previous entry). As you can probably imagine, I didn’t really have a ton of time to go into any real specifics. I mostly just left it at this:
“I really loved the friendship between Troy and Marcus and, like, the way they helped each other with their flaws. Like Troy with his self-image and overeating problems and Marcus with his drug addiction.”
When I mentioned that movie, it was like something inside of him flickered. His eyes got wide and I saw his smile significantly widen. He started nodding really enthusiastically and threw in some “yeah!”s and “alright!!”s as I spoke.
The chat between us kind of shifted over to how much I relate and connect to him. I told him, “I really love William Afton so I eventually did more research on you,” and “We have a lot in common. I relate so much to your struggles with your learning disability. I have autism.” I didn’t have time to say anything more in-depth, but I’m satisfied with what came out.
He looked so happy. Some of my memory is honestly a blur because I was in total disbelief. Like I couldn’t convince myself it was real no matter how hard I tried. But I knew that he really appreciated the fact that I took the time to do so much for him.
Before I knew it, he pulled me into a hug. I was shaking so badly at this point and now I was like HOLY FUCKING SHIT!! MATTHEW LILLARD IS HUGGING ME! HE HUGGED ME ALL ON HIS OWN!!! (It’s so crazy because whenever I thought about meeting him, I always imagined myself asking for a hug. NOT being pulled into one! Holy shit, I am not complaining whatsoever though!! Don’t you dare think that! I was the happiest girl ALIVE. I wouldn’t have had it any other way!!)
After we pulled away from the hug, he finally got around to signing the giant painting of Springtrap that I took home with me! Things here started kind of funny. See, I put some plastic wrap on it so that my art would stay safe. We got into an awkward game of tug-of-war in order to take the painting out of the wrap. He shouted, “You’ve got some really insane saran wrap here!”
I WAS SOOOOO EMBARRASSED!! I frantically explained that I just didn’t want to ruin any of my art!! But looking back at it, it was funny. I think he was having fun, too.
After he signed my big painting, I pulled out his gift. I was honestly so nervous that all I could say was a little “here, I made this for you”. Which was totally NOT how I imagined that would go, but that’s perfectly fine in retrospect (especially for reasons you will see later in this entry).
He replied to it with a quick little “thanks” before he looked at it and set it aside. I was initially a little bummed by this reaction given I worked SUPER hard on that painting, but I get it. He was in a rush due to the meet and greet’s time crunch and, as my sister said, he was very busy talking to me and probably just wanted to give me an experience with the pocket of time that he had.
He told me that he really loved my hair and that he thought it was beautiful! I was so flattered because, believe me, I went through hell to make it look like that! It’s why I don’t curl my hair super often. To be honest, though… I want to curl it A LOT more often now! I will always remember how much he loves it. Just want to do it in the daytime so I’m not in Hell…
I thanked him and, before I knew it, he pulled me into his arms A SECOND TIME. I was so fucking overjoyed that I FELT LIKE I WAS GOING TO CRY! I couldn’t believe it. Holy shit, I had to have been dreaming. I literally thought “someone pinch me!!”
As he held me, he quietly said, “You’re really the best”. I could tell he was a bit emotional. I could hear it in his voice.
At this point, I felt INSANE. Like oh my GOD my hero just told me I’m “the best”!! I didn’t know what to do! I felt so happy.
At this point, it was finally time for the photo I paid for! I was smiling so so wide! I tried really hard to include a bit of it here without revealing too much of my face. Everyone I have showed the photo to has said that it’s the best smile they’ve ever seen on me! My dad even said that I was “glowing” here, lol!
Originally, I didn't have my hand on his shoulder. It took quite a bit of courage to put mine there as well! And when I did, Matthew squeezed me even tighter. It was so fucking cute to me!
Unfortunately, however, our meet and greet eventually came to an end. I said bye to him and went off with the rest of my party. My heart was racing! My sister and her friend even told me that it seemed like I had a lot more time with him than most of the others there. Which is honestly true, lol!!
After the meet and greet, the very first thing we did was sit down by a wall for about twenty minutes as I took time to catch my breath, look at his autograph, and text a bunch of people about it.
THE LITTLE HEART DRIVES ME CRAZYYYY!! It’s so cute! I guess I am a teensy bit bummed that I forgot to give him my silver sharpie to sign the top corner, but that’s honestly not a big deal. This autograph makes me smile every time I see it! Even when I look at my painting now, I immediately remember Matthew.
At this point, the others and I had about four hours to waste before we saw Matt again for the professional photoshoot we bought. We ran into some awesome cosplayers!! I found an adorable Chica cosplayer that I really loved, another Velma, and… wait for it…
ROBO-TRUMP!!!!!
That cosplayer was so fucking funny! I loved his costume so much that I had to get a selfie with him! No regrets!
I also checked out all of the shops within the actual convention. It was waay too crowded to actually shop so I just noped out in like twenty minutes. I tried my best. Nothing there looked too interesting anyways.
However, as I stepped out of the shopping area, I decided to walk by Matt’s booth again. Lo and behold, HE HUNG UP MY PAINTING!!!
There were some other pieces of fanart in the opposite corner, but seeing mine there made me smile SO wide!! I snapped a photo of it and bragged to my friends and family over text. When I ran into my sister again, I excitedly told her, too!
Time kind of flew by because, before I knew it, I was in line for my professional photo with Matt! My heart pounded with anticipation because I knew I forgot to tell him a few things. Or, rather, I didn’t have time for it. I got the most important stuff in though and that’s what counts.
As soon as I stepped up to him, he made a really goofy expression. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped to the FLOOR! He kind of flailed his hands around a bit, too! He was really excited to see me again! Like he just completely lit up as soon as he saw me approaching. We exchanged a few little greetings and he told me he was really happy to see me again. I walked up to him and the lady snapped our picture. It was over within seconds.
But before I left, Matt thanked me twice in a row. I vividly remember him saying “Thank you again for my art!” I forgot what else we said after this, but we said a few other things. As I finally began to head to the exit, I looked back at him and said, “You’re my hero, Matt!”.
And as I stepped away, he said to me, “Bye love”.
HOLYYYYY CRAP!
I was definitely dreaming. I had to be. I was shaking so fucking much. Like I asked myself in my head if I was just hearing things. No, without a doubt that is what he said. I was so shocked in the best possible way! I felt so warm and fuzzy! Like I was so happy to see how excited he was about my return. As I said, he LIT up.
And remember me being a little bummed that he didn’t have a huge reaction to his gift?? When I saw him again for the photoshoot, he suddenly seemed really enthusiastic about it. I really honestly think that he finally had a chance to look at it closer and read what it said before heading over to his photo room and that was why he had such a drastically different reaction to it later on. That had to be it!
BUT I WAS SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS!!! I haven’t shut up about it since yesterday and I HONESTLY probably never will!! I am the happiest girl in the WHOLE FUCKING WORLD!!
Anyways, I need to crash. Sister is taking me on a road trip and all tomorrow. Expect some more diary entries, but I probably won’t really be making any new content for awhile. My life has just been way too chaotic as you guys know.
However, I will probably have tons of new content for my Bird Log! I will probably run into a bunch of different birds which is so exciting!
GOODNIGHT!