HIRED!!! & My Gift For Somebody Special HIRED!!! & My Gift For Somebody SpecialHoly shit!! I haven’t written here in a little while… My condolences. To be honest, I’ve been kind of a mess-as much of a mess as any young woman about to meet her idol would be, anyways.
Before I get into the actual news, I wanted to write a quick apology. I have several emails, messages, and guestbook entries that I hadn’t gotten around to (seriously, they’ve been sitting there rotting…). I feel pretty guilty for not having replied. As I said above, I have been a mess in the most literal sense; a million what-if scenarios about my fated visit with the legend himself, being drained as hell from my upcoming period, and just general bullshit in my life… I have been pretty occupied lately. I hope that, if you are one of the people with a message I’ve been severely neglecting, I WILL get around to you. I swear on it.
Anyways, on a much lighter note, GUESS WHO GOT HIRED?! That’s right! I did. I’m honestly over the moon about this! I’m really excited to be able to make a difference for other disabled students from my college and to create a nice, accessible space for us. Lack of accessibility on my campus is such a blaring issue and I’m so touched that our disability programs are stepping in to make a change-and even more so that I get to be a part of it!
Hell, I am the very first person at my college to ever have this job. It’s brand new. As I have been told by my supervisors, I am going to be a pioneer of sorts for disabled students. I will have a pretty big role in the creation of this new space for us.
A few ideas I have proposed to my supervisors include (but are not limited to) stim/fidget toys, maybe events like movie days, relaxing music playing in the background, and even some tutors scattered around. I took much of my inspiration for these ideas from my high school’s IEP. To keep things brief, they were extremely helpful with my development and growth as a person and, even though it was a bit of a tough love sometimes, I look back at them with very fond memories. I loved the space that they provided for us so I am hoping that we can emulate it at my college.
I will definitely keep you guys updated on this! It’s so very exciting and new to have a second job-especially something as groundbreaking and revolutionary as my new role! However, I know the real reason you guys are here…
I have been a total nervous WRECK about seeing Matt which is, for the record, tomorrow! The possibilities of not making it on time (even though I am waking up and arriving several hours in advance), the wide range of possible reactions to my gift, and more. I have lashed out at my family members several more times out of fear. I know I shouldn’t have and I feel bad about it, but I am really that scared.
I have also been spending much of my time “doing my homework” for this fated moment. I have watched numerous interviews, watched Scream (ABOUT DAMN TIME!!!!), and a personal passion project directed by Matthew Lillard himself. It’s really crazy how much more I have learned about Matt in such a short time; even crazier that what was originally just my love for a fictional character evolved into something so much deeper…
That being said, I finally finished my painting for Matt! I was thankfully able to salvage the original piece that I initially thought I fucked up. I’m so so SO grateful that I was able to save it! I am honestly so in love with how it turned out. I hope that Matthew will love it too.
Obviously, I’m going to tell him how much I love William Afton, but I want that part to be pretty short as it’s something I’m sure he’s heard a million times now. What I really want to tell him is that, even if we had never met prior, he has made a huge difference in my life. I have loved learning more about him; hearing about his struggles, being able to relate to them on such a deep and profound level, finding somebody I can look up to and really aspire to be like… I loved watching the movie he directed and seeing how he channeled his own feelings and experiences through the main character. I know that, along with acting, directing is (was?) something he’s very passionate about and I want him to know that this piece impacted me. I also want him to know that, with my new job, I will be working very hard to make a difference in the lives of people like us and that he is one of the reasons I will never give up on my passions.
I know this is sloppy and rushed as hell. It’s VERY late and I need to sleep because I am waking up in like four hours. I know I’m a total mess right now. I also promise that I will talk about Scream someday, too. Let’s just say that I have some potential… uhm, ideas LOL.
Until later! ~
(Trying really hard to appear cool and collected here even though I'm an anxious fucking mess!!)